Serial Shorties: Cookie Clicker (Episode 1: Sweet Beginnings)

Developer: Orteil (https://twitter.com/Orteil42)

Website: http://orteil.dashnet.org/cookieclicker/


Baking has always been my passion. There’s just something about putting your heart and soul into something that you can enjoy afterwards. Even better when other people can appreciate your work, too. I’m okay with cakes and pies and savory dishes, but the one concoction to always give me trouble, to elude me, were cookies. This diary is a record of my journey on my quest to master all that is cookie.

PerfectCookie

Day 1: I try my hand at the old, tried-and-true staple: chocolate chip. I’m not very good in the beginning. Naysayers plague me with doubts, but at the very least, I have the support of my family. A round-cheeked grandmother from down the street offered to tutor me, and I jumped at the chance.

Day 4: I upped my automated cookie production by several units, and hired some bored, little old ladies from the neighborhood. They’re so eager to help!

Day 10: Science has somehow gifted us genetically-modified, cookie-producing plants. I heard about them and acquired them from the same source: one of the dozen or so additional grannies I’ve managed to hire. The 30+ grandmothers happily toil on the farm, never complaining with the exception of the random mention of never seeing their grandchildren, not knowing where their cats are, and there not being enough of them to start a knitting club (how many are necessary?). I’ll do what I can to alleviate these problems; these women have been so good to me, after all.

Day 15: I was visiting the local supermarket while doing studies on macadamia nuts when I overheard a group of grannies discuss my cookies! They tittered on about the texture and the flavor, and actually had a few boxes on them. They handed them out to strangers outside of the supermarket, and the recipients, after inhaling the baked goods, begged the grannies to tell them how to acquire more. I went home and found literally hundreds of cookie orders waiting to be filled. I hired another 10 grannies.

Day 18: By the time I acquired my second farm, my cookies were renowned in the whole town. My free-range, farm-fresh cookies are attracting millennials. Quite literally, my cookies bring all the boys to the yard (tee hee).

Day 20: Scandal! Someone accused me of employing undocumented grandmothers! I can only deny the accusations for so long, I’m sure; in the meantime, I hired 5 grannies and will make sure their paperwork is all in order.

Day 26: I started a website and taught a handful of grannies how to run it. The three I’ve hired on as accountants and consultants inform me that my cookies are worth a lot of money.

Day 30: With the help of two grandmothers, a pair of supposedly retired explorers, I’ve discovered two cookie mines on my property. In addition to the two explorer grannies, I send another six grandmothers to work there.

Day 32: I found a lustrous, golden cookie… and promptly blacked out when I touched it. When I awoke, I found myself the owner of a large cookie-manufacturing factory. Another dozen or so grandmothers had also joined during this period. How odd….


[Continued in Episode 2: La Dolce Vita]

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One thought on “Serial Shorties: Cookie Clicker (Episode 1: Sweet Beginnings)

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